Mother - in - Law ...

My Mother-in-law and I have always had a great relationship with one another, but the first year or two 

took some work, mainly on my end. When you are a new bride there is no class on 

"how to love your mother-in-law" or "how to get along with your mother-in-law!"

Maybe I should create one!

You always hear women talking about how ugly, rude, and spiteful their mother-in-laws are. I didn't want that for myself or for her. A relationship between anyone is hard, but this particular relationship seems to be one of the hardest between women. Within the first year of our marriage I purchased a book at our local christian book store entitled, "The Mother-In-Law Dance - Can two women love the same man & still get along?"  

This book was very helpful to me and gave me a lot of insight. 

The answer to that question is, "YES!" 

Yes, two women can love the same man and get along! After all, she did raise the man I fell in love with. 

She put her life into her son, his best interest, she took care of him, nurtured, and loved him. 

He was the man that I loved because of her. 

I am sure this transition was hard for her to see her son "leave the nest" and know that he wouldn't need her in the same way he had needed her for all of those years. 

I also looked in my bible for stories or examples of other daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationships. 

The best example by far is that of Ruth and Naomi. Even after Ruth had lost her husband and Naomi a son she still wanted to remain with her mother-in-law.  Naomi even bid her to leave and start a new life. 

Here is what Ruth told her, "And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me." Ruth 1:16-17

That is truly a special relationship and bond that the two of them shared! 

My mother-in-law has been wonderful to me through the years. Ryan and I will be married 10 years in October and she and I have had a relationship that has only grown sweeter and closer through those years. 

She isn't just my mother-in-law, she is my friend, someone I call and ask advice, someone I laugh with, someone I have cried with, & we are known for our late night delusional conversations and texts! 

There have been many nights at 1 am Ryan has asked me, "who in the world are you talking to this late?"

Then he will respond, "never mind - my mother!"  She is known to be a night owl! 

She is also one of the strongest women I know. I have seen her go through trials, the loss of her mother, family difficulties, and she has remained steadfast and faithful through it all. 

I have heard stories from friends and other families members who don't speak to their mother-in-laws. Who can't even stand the sight of them. Who don't correspond for birthdays or holidays. A family member of mine once told me a story of her mother-in-law who would give gifts at Christmas and then give her a pair of socks or something used in front of the entire family. It really is heartbreaking to not want a relationship of love & kindness between two women who have such a strong common interest! 

Now that I have two sons of my own, I know one day they will fall in love with a young lady and leave me behind, so to speak! I know that will bring tears and a new season of life for me. I hope one day I can build a relationship with my daughter-in-laws that my mother-in-law has built with me, one of love, kindness, & respect. My mother-in-law has never come into my home and told me how to do things. She has never cut me down. She has never told me how to parent my children. 

She has always showed me respect. I am sure there have been times that I have done things wrong, times that she could have openly corrected me or the way I have done things. I am sure there have been times when I have been careless with my speech or actions & she has loved me in spite of myself. 

For everything that she has done for me, my family, for my children...I say thank you! 

I love and appreciate her & hope she has a wonderful Mother's Day!